Dangerous Wonder

This will be my last post on this site as my subscription is coming due and I just can 't justify paying money when there are other sites that are free. So for further news check out my blog at www.dangerous-wonder.blogspot.com. This site will be up until Nov 4th.

Sorry that I haven't posted again this week. I really have been trying to follow the adage "sleep when the baby sleeps". It hasn't always worked out, but with two little ones I rarely have time to justify sitting down to blog when there are dishes and laundry to be done. So this morning is the exception. Kyle got up early with Dean and the two of them went off to help some friends of ours move. I'm not sure just how helpful Kyle will be with Dean in tow, but I appreciate his thoughtfulness in giving me some time. Abi is still wanting to be up at night and if not up nursing/sleeping with mommy. My milk supply has come in well so now I am beginning to work on her sleeping on her own and regulating her feed/sleep cycle more. Hopefully that will turn her clock around so that the rest of the house can get more then 3-4 hours of sleep at night.

As difficult as it has been with her fussiness at night, I must say that overall this "post-partum" period is going a million times better then the last. I feel a lot better (minus sleep deprivation) and have actually been on a couple of short walks already. The baby weight is coming off quickly thanks to Abi's voracious appetite and my muscles are barely even sore. As far as Abi goes, she is eating plenty, well hydrated, was barely jaundiced for a day or two, and is a quick learner. Dean is beginning to warm up to her and isn't quite so intimidated by her. He's even reached out a couple of times to touch her. I was worried that he would cry a lot when she cried, but so far it hasn't seemed to bother him. I think his only "beef" with all of this is his loss of routine. I am working on getting that back for him and scheduling his nap better so that he doesn't get overly tired and doesn't feel neglected either.

This is definitely a learning process, but the thought that keeps me going is that this is all I have to do. I don't have to return to work at a certain time, nor does anything around the house need to be done by a certain deadline. If it doesn't get folded, emptied, cleaned, washed, learned, or eaten today; well there is always tomorrow. As hard as it is for me to do, I am learning to just take one day at a time and trust God for the grace I need for that day. So far it has worked and I am at peace in the midst of my chaos!

I do have new pics of Abi that I will get up in the next few days. She is such a little peanut! ;)

Our tiny baby girl is here! Thank you so much for all the thoughts and prayers. So sorry I haven't gotten to posting sooner, but the wee one is slightly more high maintenance then her brother was at this age. She is still working out of the cluster feeding stage and I'm hoping to get more then two hours sleep tonight. Well on to the story...

I was scheduled (as I mentioned before) for induction Friday morning at 0630. Well as it would happen, I went into labor on my own (albeit early labor) around 11pm Thurs night. The contractions were very regular from that point on, progressing from every 6 min to every 3-4 within about 2 hours. They only lasted about 45 secs to a min which I was very glad of as my last labor they lasted 2-3 min. They started getting painful about 1 am and I knew at that point I wasn't going to get any sleep that night. I had been dozing up until that point, but not really sleeping much. I woke Kyle at 3am after my contractions had remained at every 3-4 min for 2 hours. We got packed up and headed to the hospital around 4am. When we got there my contractions slowed down to every 5-6 min again and much to my dismay my cervix was COMPLETELY unchanged from my previous week's Drs appointment. Argh! I walked for awhile and then at 6 am the nurse went ahead and started my induction as scheduled as it didn't seem like I was going to move into an active labor pattern before 0630 anyway. I labored on the pitocin until 9am and felt that though I was managing things well I was tiring quickly and I just wasn't up for another long painful labor. I decided then that when my Dr came into to check me if I was changing my cervix enough and in a good contraction pattern that I would go ahead and get an epidural so I could rest and maybe enjoy this delivery. At 9 am I was 3 cm, 80% effaced and Abi was well situated in my pelvis. Thus at that point I had my nurse begin the process to get the epidural. Good thing I did that then too as while my Dr was checking my cervix he went ahead and broke my bag of waters to help move things along. Move things along it did! My pain went from being an 8/10 to an immediate 10/10. Fortunately I didn't have to wait too long for the epidural and by 9:45 or so was much more comfortable. My nurse checked my cervix again at 10 am and I was now 5 cm. At 10:45, my nurse noticed a change in Abi's heart rate on the monitor and decided to check me again. I was now already at 9 cm! Right after this the anesthesiologist came back into give me additional medicine in the epidural as I was experiencing a little pain in one area of my pelvis. At 11:15 my nurse checked me again and I was now completely dilated, but of course really didn't have any urge to push as my epidural was in full effect. We did some trial pushes anyway and it was evident that this was going to be a much easier delivery as I was able to move her down even without being able to feel. My nurse left to call the doctor for direction and asked me to let her know if I felt the urge to push. Well as soon as she walked out the door I noticed that I was feeling more pressure and a slight urge to push. I waited a few more contractions to make sure, but then called her. It wasn't an out of control urge, but definitely there. When she came back in her attitude was "ok then well lets get ready to push". As soon as she got me all positioned to do so though she told me not to push as Abi's head was already crowning. At this point is when I praise God for the extra heavy epidural as it allowed me to hold off pushing until my doctor was able to get there and control the delivery. I pushed a total of two times and out she came. I also only tore slightly along the old scar tissue from last time. It was such a peaceful, calm and happy delivery. Both Abi and I are recovering well and I feel a million times better then I did last time. Now we just have to get over this cluster feeding hurdle! :)

Here are her Stats:

born October 19th, 2007 at 11:50 am

weighed 7lbs 9 ozs

length 20.5 in

head circumference (the important part) 13.25 in (compared to brother's 15 ins!)

Enjoy the pics!

Abi less then one minute old!

The official weight.

Protesting the first bath.

Dean "holding" Abi for the first time. He is truly fascinated by her!

The happy family.

Our sweet girl in her going home outfit.

Wow, how time does fly! My sweet rambunctious niece Grace Elizabeth turns one year old today. I remember seeing her when she was just a few hours old. So tiny and cute! She's still cute, but now is such a big girl! I love her adventurous spirit. If only she didn't intimidate my son so much maybe he could learn some of her courage. The girl is fearless! Well anyway, here's to you Grace and another year full of adventure, learning, and fun!

Well as of right now (6:06 pm) I am not in labor, and believe me I've done everything imaginable today(well maybe not everything, but close) to try and get my body to start the process. I went shopping with Dean (my 30lb toddler), vacuumed and dusted my entire second level including the stairs, did laundry, etc. I'm definitely tired and sore, but no closer to labor it seems. Oh well, one thing I've realized about myself is that the biggest fear in life is losing control. With my last labor and delivery I did everything I could to make sure I could stay in control. While my preparations probably didn't hurt any, they certainly didn't assure me the kind of delivery I dreamed of. This time I've decided to trust my doctor and God for the details and believe that both Abi and I will "come out" healthy and whole. I realize this is hard for me, but I think I will have greater peace and enjoy the process much more if I'm not trying to cram everything into my preconceived notions of how it should go. That said, I'm at peace about the induction and all that that entails. I look forward to some uninterrupted time with my husband and maybe a few games of Settlers! :)

On to Dean news... I realize I've neglected to post about him lately as all the focus has been on Abi coming. I have moved Dean to a booster seat as he really wasn't fitting correctly in his high chair. He loves it! He seems like such a big boy sitting up to the table. We are working on him using kid-sized utensils too. He does well with a fork, but doesn't seem to keep food on a spoon. We also finally transitioned Dean from a bottle for milk to a sippy cup. Thanks to a suggestion from a good friend of mine, we've reserved one cup specifically for milk, which seems to help. Now for the big news......(drum roll please!) Dean took his first steps on his own today. He has been able to balance on his own when he isn't really paying attention for awhile. Today he was balancing on his own and walked a few steps to me. He got soo excited that he couldn't repeat the feat again until he wasn't focused on it. He gets so nervous that he's going to fall, that he just won't try. What I wouldn't do to be able to reassure him that someday he'll walk with ease and never remember not walking. I am so proud of him though for getting this far! What a cutie he is!

Well, here it is Abi's due date and no sign of impending labor. To be honest I've had many of the textbook signs of impending labor for days now. So the real question is what does impending mean? Does that mean within the next 12 hours (obviously not!) or within days or weeks (more probable in my case)? All things considered I am feeling good and still able to keep up on the household chores. I feel fairly set for when Abi comes too. My sister Stephanie moved in yesterday so I have that to distract me. We are helping her get settled in the city and find a job etc. It's nice to have her around! Hmmm... this is a rather short post, but I just have nothing else to report. Keep checking back! :)

Actually, the phrase "news flash" is probably misleading as there really isn't anything new to tell, but update just sounded so boring. I saw my Dr today and haven't changed my cervix AT ALL in the last week. I'm still "barely" 2cm dilated, 50% effaced and my cervix is still tilted pretty far back. None of these are good indicators of pending labor. Now for the kicker... my Dr is leaving town tomorrow to go elk hunting for 5 days! The practical side of me says "good for him". After all he does need a life and I don't pay him enough to be at my every beck and call. However, the emotional/hormonal side of me says "how dare he"! :) Even though I'm getting tired of waiting around for Abi to come (I'm pretty much nested out!), I want to wait to have her now until he gets back; which won't be until after my due date. I know though that if God decides to start labor before that that I will be ultimately ok. I need to put more trust in God and less in the specifics of who delivers me. On that note, I'm also starting to get a little apprehensive about doing this again. My memories from Dean are still a little too vivid. The modern day focus for most in having a baby is to have a "good experience". I admit I am no different. It would be nice to have a smooth, non-eventful, play cards till it's time to push kind of delivery. I know so many for whom having a baby is a routine non-news worthy event. I pray that this one could be like that and not the stuff of folk lore! :) Well, all who read this can keep me in their prayers that I will be at peace and have a "good experience" delivery!

On another note: Dean is becoming so much more vocal these days. Well, at least in words I can now understand. He's always been a talker when in small crowds or alone, but we never could understand what he was saying. Now we are beginning to recognize more words and he is also able to sign one small sentence, "More...., Please!" He's very proud of himself and his ability to communicate. He's saying: cracker, bye-bye, go, no, ball, baby, amen, teddy, beep-beep, and milk (sounds like me-me). It's nice for me to realize just how much he understands of what we are saying and talk to him with that understanding. He likes to push his boundaries and is finally developing some courage. The other day he crawled out our back door onto the rocks and had fun playing in the dirt and rocks. I do find it odd that he is willing to crawl on rocks, but not the soft lush grass at the park. What a silly boy!

I was really hoping to go into labor over the weekend to avoid having to start another week of my maintenance cleaning. Oh well! Kyle keeps asking me "how I feel". I can't remember feeling any different prior to going into labor with Dean so I can't say when I'll go into labor this time. We had a very relaxing weekend and I got all the things I still needed for Abi. Now we just wait and keep the house clean. My sister is moving in this week which should provide a nice distraction for a few days. Well that's all for now!

I love how as one approaches their due date the seemingly never ending questions are.. "How are you feeling?" or "Have you had the baby yet?" It really doesn't bother me and I appreciate the interest others show in my life. But in order to "kill two birds", I'm going to try to keep the blog updated with all the pertinent info.

Yesterday, I had my 38 week appointment with Dr O'Connell. I had lost a little bit more weight, which is fine for a woman of my size. In fact, the Dr keeps complimenting me on my weight control! Yippee! My uterus measured smaller then last week (for each week you are pregnant your uterus should generally measure the same number in centimeters, thus I should measure 38 cms this week). This week it only measured 35 cms. This is a good indication that Abi has finally engaged into my pelvis and is starting to make the final preparations for "landing". When the Dr checked my cervix I was dilated to 2 cms and 50% effaced, which seems like some progress from last week (1cm, 50%); but for those who have done cervical checks it's almost a negligible difference just depending on who checks you. He did confirm that Abi had "dropped" though, which of course is great. We decided to go ahead and "encourage" nature a little by letting him "strip" my membranes. *Side note here: I owe my friend Michele a huge apology. When she told me that stripping membranes hurt like heck, I kind of "poopooed" her and said maybe it was just her. My bad.... that was extremely uncomfortable and rather painful. I assume this is the case because I wasn't all that dilated or effaced. Anyway, Michele you were right!* The stripping of the membranes involves the practitioner manually separating some of the amniotic sac from the wall of the uterus. The purpose is to agitate things enough to get labor to start on it's own. For people who are 3-5cm dilated and fairly effaced (70-100%)when this is performed it is usually enough to "push them over the edge" and get labor started within 12 hours. For those like me in the 1-2 cm range it may help progress things, but not necessarily in the immediate future. So all that to say... we still wait just like everybody else. :) Despite all that we as humans have learned we still don't know what starts labor or why it may start at certain times and not others. I think God in his sovereignty keeps some mysteries from us, just so we remember who is in control and the true author of life. That said... I wait in peace for His perfect timing.