Dangerous Wonder

Been talking to my sister recently about relationships and the like. You know the usual trials we go through in our journey from "nest" to the world. I stumbled upon something that kind of took me by surprise. It makes perfect sense, but yet I never saw it this way before. We can't make anyone love us...... Now we can usually influence someone's like, infatuation, or lust of us, but we really can't control love. Why? Because love is a choice we make not a feeling we feel. When someone chooses to love us it is based on them and their willingness to be vulnerable to us, not our looks, good behavior, assets, etc. Therefore we also have no power to change the degree or strength of their love. Again because it really isn't based on us. This helps me to better understand God's love. How could God love such selfish and stupid people as us? Because he chooses to. And that decision is based on Him and who He is, not on us. For someone like me who has grown up seeking to always be what someone can love me for, this is mind-blowing. It's also incredibly freeing. I am loved. Nothing I do, say, think or how I look can change that. This should be the safest place in the world for me. I now have to take the step of faith to believe that this kind of love truly exists and exists in my life. Faith is required to succeed in life. There are so many things we just can't see. We just have to believe. I may spend the rest of my life learning how to apply all this to me, but I make it my goal to learn this and live it well.

It's easy for me to forget just how much Dean has grown in the last 7 months until I pull out some old pictures and compare. Wow! He is quickly moving out of baby stage into toddler stage. How the time does fly!
Dean at 1 week.
Dean at 7 weeks.

Dean at 7 months.

Nothing much to update about, but I have some great new pics of Dean so I thought I'd better write something. Kyle is still looking for a job and we are praying that God leads him to the right one for him and our family. We anticipate life changing some here in the near future and we are excited. We know it will all be for our good. I finally caught Dean on "film" sucking his thumb. I'm not sure how he learned it as neither Kyle or I were thumb suckers as babies, but he seems quite adept at it. He prefers and sucks almost exclusively his left thumb. That leaves me to wonder if he will be left handed too. Hmmm.. Enjoy the pics, he's such a doll.

Now before those of you older then me reading this blog dismiss this as the ramblings of a lunatic, hear me out. My sister spent some time with us this last weekend before she headed back to college. I was amazed at how much time she spent on IM, My Space, Facebook, etc. Most of the people she was talking to were people she goes to school with. I totally understand the need to keep in touch with friends, but when I was in college (don't I sound old) we had nothing like that. We didn't have access to the internet in the dorms or computer labs to use until I was a junior. Nobody had a laptop with wireless except maybe for a few uber-rich kids. Most of us just had word processors to type papers on. I'm pretty sure today's college students don't even know what one of those is. By the way I was in college only 9 years ago. It's not like it's been a generation or so, but when it comes to technology 9 years might as well be 90. I told my husband that there is nothing like technology to age you. Wow! I don't even want to think about what things will be like when Dean is in college. sigh!

I have come to the recent firm conclusion that Dean is a daddy's boy. He loves his mama, but he really loves his daddy. One of his favorite things is helping daddy on his computer, whether it be with games or work. It is so cute to watch the two of them interact. It warms my heart as I didn't have a dad to interact with. When I go off to work I have no worries that the two of them have a great time together.